From the new world: Shun and Saki

January 9, 2014

It happened when we were 12, that night as we sailed on an ocean of stars. It was just us two in a canoe. You reached out and held my hand and in that moment, we let our thoughts collide. You knew what I knew. You felt what I felt but it was not too long before life drew us apart- we had our other loves and other concerns. Passing you in the hall, our eyes would meet, we would say cordial greetings but your face was a mask. Behind your eyes was a wall that blocked the window into your thoughts. I had known you all my life yet you had suddenly become a stranger to me. There was something that you kept from all of us. Even the day I met you on the riverbank, you held back. You said you were going away, that your only companion was solitude. But there was loneliness in your solitude, an unwillingness in your actions. Why else would you give me that protective collar? The weariness of carrying a burden alone was evident, but I could do nothing as you turned your back and walked away- idly toying with the wasp beads which spun round and round as if to repel anyone who tried to come closer.

Darkness in the northern sky, it was the day that I decided to find you, to help you because ultimately, despite the confusion and the hurt, you were still an important friend to me. I walked and walked till I came to a lake. The black sky was streaked with blue and orange, the land not green but white. Speckles of white dirt rose into the air, gleaming and levitating as if they had a will of their own. It was the effect of distortion from your brilliant mind. Destruction and death, you pushed me away, so far away till I felt that I could no longer reach you. I couldn’t help or do anything but watch the power consume and twist the nature around us. There were so many wasp beads and you had materialized out of a tree. It was both beautiful and strange. Then you lead me into your fortress of solitude- a rickety house on the hill. For 10 minutes you said, you’d let me in and let me be. I listened and listened not really understanding the rational explanation. I surveyed your gait- much thinner than whence I last saw you, your hair 2 inches longer and your face I could not see for it was covered by a solid white mask. Why was it you? Why were you the one to bear this? Why could life not go back to the way it was? You explained that there was no solution. I later came to know that you were embracing death. You sought release from this power that had turned you into a killer but even dying was a struggle. The basic survival instinct was deeply ingrained in that subconscious evil.

Then it came. The final judgment that would swallow up this experimental world. You were ready to lay it all down and finally go to rest. Its murky branches twisted and turned around you, the earth opened its gaping jaws to swallow you whole. You stood still, submitting to the fate that awaited. I wanted to stay, but you sent me flying straight back out of your crumbling fortress, away from the impending chaos. The solid white mask melted away as you stood, bound by Judgment and I saw your face. You looked at me and for once, in a long time I could see through the wall behind your eyes.

‘ I’ve always loved you’.

In that gentle voice, the same as it was when we were 12, you expressed those inexplicable feelings that were always there between us- the buds which were not given the chance to blossom.  Suddenly, everything in the past 2 years made sense and for that one second, I saw you for who you were once again; still that same boy who was constantly looking out for me and who had held my hand while out on the lake. There was a jeweled explosion and I was sent spiraling out of that now unpropitious construction of your mind. I looked back but the light was so bright that it hurt my eyes. When I could finally open them, I stopped to stare.

It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

————–
So that’s my pathetic attempt to reconstruct the epic moment in Episode 10 of 新世界より。Just because I had to ( my feelings had to be dumped somewhere). I’ve strangely ended up writing prose….it’s weird because I seldom am inspired to do so.  Still pales in comparison to how wonderfully it was done in the anime itself. The build up, the art, the characters, the music….it was just so well put together.  I think I can highlight it as one of the most touching moments in anime that I’ve watched.

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